Against a sinister red backdrop Eternity unleashes all of his Christmas baubles against the refreshingly non-yellow Ancient One while Doctor Strange attempts an ineffectual rescue.
PLANET EARTH IS NO MORE!
The splash page presents us with a starkly dramatic image (I really mean that, I'm actually not being sarcastic here) of Strange hanging limp amid a swirling maelstrom that seems to be all that remains of our planet.
Strange, we are reminded, fucked up BIG. He promised to save the world, and... well... look around you (metaphorically speaking, that is. OR IS IT?), Eternity challenged Strange to a game and it turned out that Eternity is the sort of GM who feeds his players very little information, generates the characters for them, makes all dice rolls himself and gets in a huff if any of them buy their own rulebooks.
We zoom in on Strange's anguished face as we are told that four billion lives were lost and that one of the lives was YOURS, that "you died six minutes ago." FUCKING HELL. Strange is the last human being alive (apart from any who are out in space somewhere; fucking ex-pats probably voted for Earth to leave the cosmos anyway. Cunts.) and, understandably, is fairly cut up about it. And yet, just as he actually gets as far as having an independent emotional thought about Clea, he pulls himself together and resolves not to accept defeat... if Clea had a grave, she'd be spinning in it right now; even when she's gone Strange still puts her heart in second place to the welfare of the whole universe. MEN.
Then, with a flash of narrative causality, Strange realises there's one factor he overlooked: Nightmare! Using the Eye of Agamotto he enters a trance and astrals the fuck out of our universe, into the Dimension of Dreams. It's a realm "littered with the awesome remnants of every man's imagination." Casual sexism aside, at the moment it looks like these "awesome remnants" are a kind of network of tree roots floating in a white void; but it's possible the artists thought there were loads of colours and stuff on the page at the time.
As he wanders along one of the root things Strange runs an internal monologue about the place, and we're treated to what is actually quite an effective frame-in-a-frame as our point of view shifts to the inside of what appears to be the mouth of a giant snake. Strange notices the shadow and realises it's one of Nightmare's creatures... and, in fact, it is the mouth of a giant snake, and I mean just the mouth. But Strange his having none of this shit and zaps the thing into oblivion.
KNIGHTMARE
Just as Strange dispatches the gaping maw Nightmare appears, saying that it was a test to see if Strange retained his powers still - as if he's not had enough of powerful beings messing about with him - and that now Strange will see his! Powers that is. Nightmare fires off spells which Strange deflects, but then the sorcerer is assailed by a summoned flock of Badly Drawn Blackbirds*! The misshapen avians surround our hero but Nightmare has underestimated his power and with a mighty Fuck Off incantation, he dismisses the birds and turns on Nightmare once again.Strange unleashes a spell against Nightmare who explodes in a flash of rainbow light, leaving the crazy-haired master of dreams kneeling and broken; in that moment Strange starts a monologue, explaining how he knew that Nightmare didn't realise his full power, but is broken from his exposition when he spots a giant silver ball in the distance.
Strange wonders what its purpose is and opens it amid Nightmares protests and inside he finds none other than...
ETERNITY
But where the being is normally all full of stars and planets and shit, now he appears all dark. Strange asks why, but Nightmare is all "not telling", so Strange is just like "meh, I can free him with the
Eternity is basically god, it turns out and guided the ascent of man from single-cells up to the strange ape-like creatures we know and, well, know. But as humans grew in number and intelligence so did their influence on the beings of the universe, once there were enough humans for Nightmare to be powerful enough, the Dream Demon ensnared Eternity in the land of nod! Strange, taking this all in, then asks: "wait, so you mean all this was just a dream?" and Eternity responds "yes, but I'm Eternity so my dreams are FUCKING REAL."
"So what about the Earth?"
"Well, that's gone now. Soz."
"But I fucking saved you!"
"Yeah, but I'm FUCKING ETERNITY and you expecting any kind of thanks annoys me."
Eternity changes Strange into a sort of troll thing as a demonstration of power, and Strange is all "dude! Fucking seriously?" Which makes Eternity even angrier, but as he's about to swat Strange like an insect a giant hand grips his arm, that of... the Ancient One!
MAGRATHEA
Doctor Strange marvels** as the two vast being wrestle with each other, and soon the match is over with Eternity sloping off in a huff. The Ancient One explains that this isn't the first time he's intervened either, for it really was him in the earlier vision, and goes onto explain how Strange has grown as a result of his trials.Then Eternity shows up again and says that he still won't undo the destruction of the dream-real Earth, but instead will build one from scratch... though he probably won't get any awards for the fjords... and take it right up to the state it was before it was demolished, but without its own Doctor Strange so our Doctor Strange can go back and live his life.Then Eternity and the Ancient One vanish into the void, while the latter says that by the way, he's now one with the universe (far out, man) and then Doctor Strange finds himself back in his study where he spends a while coming down (and yes the comic actually says that, meaning they got an overt, non-cautionary, drugs reference past the CCA!)
And so our story ends and we are treated to the news that soon Doctor Strange will face off against Dracula... because, really, how else do you follow Giant Eternity fighting Giant Ancient One for the fate of reality itself?
Next time, unless I come up with a better idea, I shall explore the origin of Captain America as I leap all the way back to when it was acceptable to punch Nazis without some damn internet troll calling you the REAL fascist for doing so.
*Orange beaks, so not crows.
**SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
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